Let’s Break the Silence with Something Worth Talking About

I have been called a music snob. Actually I’m a snob about a lot of things. But yes, when it comes to music I have certain lines I won’t cross. Justin Bieber is one of those lines. I fail to see the draw. Even Zach gives him credit for selling out Madison Square Garden in 22 minutes, but I can’t give the kid props for mob mentality and a prevalent lack of musical taste in our culture.

Then some friends got me to listen to “As Long As You Love Me”.

(Haven’t heard it? Check it out.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-FVihIlU2g

I’ll admit, the beat is catchy. It’s fun to drive to. It’s also fun to think about. Take the chorus for example.

As long as you love me, we could be starving, we could be homeless, we could be broke. As long as you love me, I’ll be your platinum, I’ll be your silver, I’ll be your gold.

See? Catchy. As long as I love Justin Bieber, he’ll be my everything. He’ll be like gold to me. Indeed. But what about ME Justin? What about me? Will I be your everything? Am I worth more than platinum to you? *Hint: This song is not about him being loving you at all*

But, you may say, that’s not what he means. He’s going to “be your soldier, fightin’ every minute of the day for your dreams girl”. (First line, second verse. Don’t ask me what the rest of the verse is talking about. What the heck is a Hova? And why are you bringing Destiny’s Child into this?")

Back to the “soldier/fighting for your dreams girl” part. I thought the recent push, since I dunno, 1848, was for women to fight for their own dreams? Most women don’t want to be Cinderella, they don’t want to have to wait around for a guy to do something either. Not that I don’t love fairy tales, I just don’t want to live in one. (Unless I get a sword.)

*I have to give “Big Sean” credit for actually complimenting women in his part of the song. I like the part about watering your grass.*

So while I might enjoy driving to this song after a long day when I don’t want to think about anything, I’m not so sure I would want my daughter listening to it. I’d rather pop in the Mulan soundtrack. And don’t even get me started on the other lines I won’t cross, like Miley Cyrus or the literary fallacies of Taylor Swift (let’s face it, Helen Keller could pin the tail on that donkey.) I’ll never be listening to their music long enough to reach a conclusion.

Like, never ever ever.