So I don’t know about you but there are a few random things in this life that scare me. Not like, truly awful things such as death or plague. My fears tend to be more on the silly side. Like tarantula sightings (so far this week: 2), or cars that appear to be following me home at night (even though they’re not), or popping balloons, or bugs that fly too close to my head.
Some people are afraid of roaches. Roaches actually just make me angry and I kill them ASAP, hitting them an average of seven times to ensure death. But you know what else is scary? What gets me every time?
Opening a can of biscuits.
Is it not one of the more frightening occurrences in the Western World? It’s like playing Jack in the Box, but I never liked playing Jack in the Box because IT MAKES ME JUMP EVERY SINGLE TIME.
I’m not kidding, I’ve been known to ask Zach to open the biscuits for me because I was hungry but I really didn’t want to open them myself. I can’t do it and not jump.
It’s bad enough when you’re pulling the paper off the outside. If it pops in your hands that’s pretty scary. But what if it doesn’t pop? What if you tear all the paper off and the can is still intact? Then you’re supposed to hit it on the counter or press the line with a spoon and try to make it open, and I get really, really nervous about it.
However, I discussed this recently with a friend of mine and she gave me an excellent tip. Today I was opening a can of biscuits by myself and I did this and it seriously works
You have to make that can of biscuits know who’s boss!
You have to remember that, like roaches and tarantulas, and buzzy bugs around your head, YOU are bigger than that can of biscuits. You shouldn’t be afraid of it, it should be afraid of you!
So today when I needed to open the can of biscuits, I slowly, cautiously peeled the paper off. Then I grabbed the can and hit it on the counter with a loud “Hiya!” I did this two or three times, “Hiya! Hiya! Hiya!” and it busted open. I felt triumphant. No fear, just awesomeness.
Christine 1, Can of Doom 0.
I encourage any of you who have silly fears like mine to try the Hiya Tactic*. I’m pretty sure it can be adapted to many situations. You might get some strange looks from people but if you explain it I’m sure they’ll go and do the same, even thank you later.
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. - Eleanor Roosevelt
You tell ‘em Ellie. You must do the thing you think you cannot do! You must open the biscuits! You must kill the bug! You must face your fears with a brave and fierce HIYA!
*The Hiya only works when yelled with a general attitude of bad*ssness. If done correctly I assure you it works.
