Control

Things are about to get a little personal but this is something I've been pondering.

As a young bride-to-be I knew there would come a day when I should start birth control. Zach and I have talked about it and we do not want to have kids for a while. A long while. So there was no question that this would be happening. But I have to admit, I have very mixed feelings about the practice.

There are so many factors that go into a decision like this. I have friends, my age, who already have their second child and others who never want to bring a child into this world. I know people who are adamantly against birth control, others who gave it up, and some who have been on it for years.

In no way do I feel ready for the responsibility and personal sacrifice required for a child. There is no way we could be financially prepared for a child in the near future. And part of it is, I'm a teacher (currently at least). I deal with other people's children Monday through Friday. While I love them as much as I can, and they drive me nuts as much as they can, at the end of the day we all go home and let me tell you, 3 o'clock is one of my favorite times. So no children for now. But then I do have some problems with the fact that in order to accomplish this I have to be on birth control.

Like putting something in my body that's going to completely change the way it was designed to work. That freaks me out a little. Or all the side effects that can occur along with it. Drugs are some of the scariest things man has ever created. Drugs and weapons of mass destruction.

Not to mention that if Zach and I make the decision to never have children then I'm on this stuff for at least the next 20-25 years. And if you take the cost of birth control and multiply it over that many years we could buy a new car.

Essentially that means spending the next 25 years of our lives paying to not own a new car. A living-breathing-pooping-screaming-loving new car.

It takes a lot of money to not have something.

Another problem I have with birth control is the way it's marketed. Today I was flipping through channels and there was a commercial for some kind of birth control with this mom and her cute little 3 year old-ish son. He was tearing around the house, just being a kid, and the catchphrase of the bit was something like "Another one? Not right now." Like children are a bad thing.

I realize that my reasons for not wanting kids echo the sentiments of the ad but I do have problems with the view of parenting that commercial was selling. Add to that the horrific (and I do mean really disturbing) list of possible side effects the voice over was pleasantly explaining and you get the feeling something is wrong.

Cheaper by the Dozen was on TV today. A family with 12 kids. Twelve because they wanted them. It was a movie that sold families. And while I don't think anyone should have quite that many children it was much less creepy than the commercial.

I think it ultimately depends on what kind of parent you are. Because while I do believe that having children requires a lot of giving on the parent's part, I also believe that if you really put in that kind of care and commitment the returns of your love will be amazing. I'm just not there yet.

What about you? Where do you stand on conception interception?