Will Write for Change

How do you begin to write something that won't end up being just like all the other somethings you've written? I'm trying to figure out how to say what I mean but more importantly to say something that means something.

I think everyone knows what it's like to feel stuck and everyone is afraid of being ordinary. So much so that it's getting harder and harder to be original in anything.

You see there's this contest (see video below) put on by Donald Miller and it has to do with his book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. Which, as I've said, I read a couple of weeks ago. I've been thinking about it a lot since then, and mentioned to Zach that I'd like to read the book with him and talk about it together, about the kind of story we want to live. One of the many things I love about him is how he is a doer. Not only that but he has big dreams and he loves to talk about the stuff we want to do. I need that in my life.

I think one of the most important things you can do if you want to change is to read books that inspire you and talk to people who are passionate about what they do. Because chances are the more you put yourself around people and ideas then you too will catch fire and you will burn together.

That's why this conference Mr. Miller is having is such an interesting idea. If you've read the book you know that he takes the literary elements of a story and applies them to life and you realize how much you want to be a character in that book. So a conference of ideas and people talking about their stories should be pretty phenomenal.

So this is my entry. I always feel very awkward about trying for things, like I have to sell myself. I have to put myself out there. In fact I know that is the reason why my story has been so diminished of late, because I shrink back from the extraordinary. Who am I to win this contest? Who am I to be a writer? Who am I to do anything beyond live a quiet life?

But in spite of these censors in my head the fact remains: I do want to change my story.

I do want to have my writing published. I do want to be involved in a youth ministry. I do want to learn to speak Spanish. I do want to go on trips with this organization. I do want to be trained as a Montessori teacher within the next two years. I do want to adopt a dog. I do want to be more socially active. I do want to give my blog more direction. I do want to live in a tiny house. And yes, I do want to take Bollywood dance lessons.

I made the mistake of reading through some of the other people's entries. A lot of people like me, some angry, some frustrated, some hopeful. And it once again got me to thinking that I can't possibly be original enough, or talented enough for this to work. But then I realized that it takes courage to enter a contest like this. To so publicly but nonetheless shyly say that I'd like to win.

I'd like to go to where the burning people are.

I'm entering even though it probably won't be me. But I'm proud of myself for stepping up this time. Either way, I have a lot to look forward to this year and this is a beginning step in the direction that I'm now determined to go.

You come to.

Shalom

Here's the video about the contest and the link to their website:

Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

www.donmilleris.com/conference

Place

So I was thinking about it today and I realize what happened with camp this year and why I couldn't be there anymore.

In high school did you have a team that you were on or an organization that you worked with? Maybe you were like me, I was a band nerd. I was on the drum line for 3 years, played bass then snare. My senior year I was even drum major. I could do band. And not just the knowing how to read music and play percussion part, or even march. I could crab walk like the drummers and traverse like the horn players. I could memorize sets and music in a day. I could teach a set. I could direct and organize the whole group. I could find you a copy of the music you needed, knew how to read Stone's mood, who to ask for what, and I knew everyone. Some of my best memories in high school were of band. Even the awful parts seem great because I was part of something great.

But eventually you graduate from high school. You go off to college and you come back for marching contest and everyone's excited to see you. You get lots of hugs, talk to everyone about your life and their life and what's new. It's a great feeling. You feel proud to be part of a legacy.

Then a couple more years go by and you go back for a visit. The kids who were "your freshmen" are now seniors and gosh, they got tall. You chat for a bit but you don't recognize any other faces. That's okay though, no one else notices because they're all doing their thing. The thing you used to do. Sure you could still pick up an instrument and play along, you could even direct. But now, you just feel awkward. It hurts, because you remember what it was, what it still is for these strange new people who have taken your place. Now it's their turn and you have to let it go.

That's what happened and it's okay. It will probably happen again and again and again. I think a big part of life that many people may never understand is that it's about enjoying the most out of things and then letting them go. Even at the end of life you have to know that you enjoyed the most out of life and then you have to let it go. Nothing is the end. New things lie ahead but you can't hold them until your hands are empty.

That's what happens and it's okay.

Shalom

Changing Your Word

For the past few months I've been dealing with a lot of things. I've also been dealing with a lack of things. Then, in a moment of "frustration and despair" to quote myself in a letter I wrote to my brother, I wallowed in my self-doubt, self-pity, and of course, self-absorbed darkness.

Then I finished reading the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller. You know the one. If you haven't read it you've probably heard of it. It's good. Really good, though it has a few minor meh parts, it's still good enough to make you want to live a better story. Which is the whole point.

I'm also about to re-read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Yes the movie is about to come out but really, it's one of my favorite books, one that I like to have around even if I'm not reading it.

In Eat Pray Love, Gilbert talks about how every city has a word describing the essence of that particular city (in the book Rome=sex and the Vatican = power). So upon reading this I, along with everyone else wondered, what my word could be?

Here's my list of possibilities:

Solitary

Whining

Boring

Neurotic

How I manage to be boring and neurotic at the same time is anyone's guess but I do. So, what's a girl to do about fixing herself?

Story happens when a character wants something and has to overcome obstacles to get it. Thanks Don.

I'm on a quest. I want to change my word. The obstacles are numerous. Laziness, unforgiveness, shyness, fear, doubt. I'm in good company though. Don Quixote, Cyrano de Bergerac, Louisa May Alcott.

Let's move.

Shalom

What I learned today

http://prezi.com/vmolyjytkpyk/prezi-your-ideas-like-never-before/

just follow the link and press play, the hit the right arrow button as you go!