Parallel Universe Me

So let me tell you about that one exception on etsy.

Eight months ago I ordered my wedding dress from a seller on etsy. I was excited, I loved the dress and I went for it.

Four months later I discovered that the seller had disappeared, along with my money, and I did not have a dress after all.

Now, 5 months after that, the reality of the situation hit me. Smack in the face. It broke my nose and made me cry. Because I just spent about an hour talking myself down from a panic attack when I realized that I've let it happen again. I didn't realize what I really wanted until it was too late and now I'm stuck with something else. It's not the first time this has happened.

I've never thought of myself as high maintenance, in fact I strive not to be. So when I got engaged I promised myself that I would not be like the brides on television. You know, the ones who terrorize everyone around them and demand the whole world jump through fiery hoops for their amusement. And when my first dress disappeared I didn't get upset. There was nothing I could do about it so I moved on. I found another dress. I bought it, loved it, and my grandmother is in the middle of altering it. Life didn't stop.

Until tonight.

When I randomly found another dress on etsy much like my first choice and for less money than I paid for my current dress. Suddenly, I wanted that dress. I had to have it. The dress hanging in my mawmaw's spare bedroom was second rate and I felt totally jipped by the universe. I stormed through the possibilities of ditching my dress for this one but without hope. I am stuck in a wedding dress that is not my dream dress. Somewhere in a parallel universe, Other Me got the dress I wanted.

I hate her.

Parallel Universe Me went to a different college. A pretty college with real hills (not man-made mounds), beautiful buildings and renowned professors. She studied something exciting like writing or architecture or how to save the environment. She made different friends. She doesn't have a sister. She doesn't have a family in Louisiana. She doesn't have my friends, some of the best friends she could ever hope to find. Oh and student loans. She has a lot of those.

Parallel Universe Me didn't work at Cho-Yeh. Her life was easier and had more air-conditioning. She didn't find her brother again. She didn't meet some of the other best friends a girl could ask for. She didn't get to have my 2-weekers 5 years in a row.

Parallel Universe Me didn't become a teacher. She's not stressed out about her job and she doesn't hate waking up in the morning. She moved to another country and got to see the world. But not my parents. She doesn't get to see them much. And she didn't get to teach my kids. Or dance with them at the Halloween dance. Or get hugs from them everyday.

Parallel Universe Me married some other guy that she fell in love with too soon. She stuck it out in a bad relationship and convinced herself it was what she wanted. They're getting married soon. And she's wearing my dress. She doesn't get to marry Zach. She doesn't get the next 76 years of her life with the man of my dreams.

Parallel Universe Me might be happy but she's a different kind of happy. I like my happy.

She can keep the dress.

5 Reasons to Shop Etsy

So maybe you know about it, maybe you don't but etsy, pronounced (by me) et-see, is an online marketplace for all things handmade or vintage. Everything from coasters to messenger bags to nerdy t-shirts, you can find it on etsy. They even bake cookies.

If you haven't checked it out yet you should. Think of it as Amazon for artistically inclined small businesses. You can find some really interesting stuff or if you enjoy making your own crafts you can even find supplies. But here are a few of my personal reasons for shopping etsy.

1. One of a kind.

I like things that are unique and while I do occasionally lust over a great something or other that I found at ______________ chain store, I don't relish knowing that I'll probably see the exact same something on or being used by someone else. With etsy you know that what you have is probably going to be the only one you ever see and that makes your choices more you.

2. Support small business.

The economy is in shambles but there are those out there who are making it, creating interesting stuff, and earning a living doing it. But that isn't possible unless people are buying it. I encourage you to explore and purchase something that makes you smile. If there was ever a time to support small business owners I'd say that we're a little behind schedule.

3. They are out there

People working to create something special with a lot of love. They're creative. They're friendly. They're out there. If you want to be inspired check out some of the blogs and shops at etsy. Almost all of us wish we could do something artsy, quit our day job and make a living on our own terms. People are doing this everyday at etsy and I think it's worth being excited about.

4. Customer service

If you need something, say a dress, and you go to the store to find one, the salesclerks there probably have no idea where the item came from or anything about how it was made. They may be helpful in finding you the right size but the people on etsy go above and beyond. I've made several purchases on etsy over the past few months and (with one exception) the people I've bought from have been extremely helpful, they respond quickly to messages, and even create custom orders without making a fuss. You feel like you're actually talking to someone you know and not a random corporation after your money. They love what they make and they want you to love it too. It's that simple.

5. Connections

If you've been paying attention in the last few years, the way we communicate and our developing attitudes towards life is changing the way business is done. It is a small world after all. There are shops on etsy from all over the world (and I do mean all over, I just bought a dress from Tel Aviv). When you buy from etsy you're helping someone, maybe in the next town, state, or country live their dream on their own terms.

I know it might be strange for me to endorse a website, but I honestly think you'll love it. And if you find something interesting please let me know! Here are some of my favorite shops:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/RockyTopSoapShop

http://www.etsy.com/shop/Retreauxgirl

http://www.etsy.com/shop/papermoth

http://www.etsy.com/shop/fantasyclothes

Happiness

Always seems to be around the corner. Or floating down the river. Or, maybe, it's just around the riverbend.

Are you happy? Right now, where you're sitting? How would you describe your day? No one is happy 100% of the time right? But are you happy 80%? Fifty? Why? I would say that I'm probably happy 60 percent of the time. Maybe.

There are 2 things that stipulate how happy we are. When and If. Because our happiness is usually based on something we hope will one day happen (I'll be happy when I move to such and such a place, get such and such a job, own such and such a thing). So our happiness is deferred.

What about being happy right now? Today? That's where If comes in. I'll be happy if my students pay attention to the lesson and cooperate with each other. I'll be happy if I watch this movie tonight. I'll be happy if this traffic moves out of my way. I'll be happy if Wal-mart doesn't take too long.

When and If. We are very conditional creatures. We even have conditions for our own happiness.

I've had the thought lately, that the best thing we can try to do with our lives is to try to be happy on our journey, helping as many people as we can and hurting as few as possible. No matter what religion, nationality, whatever, I'm pretty sure everyone could agree on this. If we could all choose our goal in life, wouldn't you choose to be happy and to help others more than you hurt them?

I'm pretty sure Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha and all the others would say "Great idea! Go do it! God will help."

So what's stopping you from being happy? Try not to think of it in conditional terms. If you weren't in school you'd be working and you would still have to do things that you don't want to do. If you had a different job there would still be challenges and you would still have bad days. When you get married or finally have a significant other you'll still feel lonely and misunderstood sometimes. There are things that you cannot control. Duh, right?

THERE ARE THINGS YOU CANNOT CONTROL.

There are things you cannot control.

Things like natural disasters, government policies, other drivers, your boss, your better half, your friends, your professor, the economy, taxes, your favorite characters on tv, traffic lights, daylight savings, whether or not your favorite team will win, the weather, and countless other things.

Yet everyday what do we dwell on? What do we talk about? We mostly talk about the things we cannot control. That or what happened on something we just watched.

The only thing you have control over is you. Your outlook. Your thoughts. Your choices. Your time (as least some of it).

So try this: breathe, smile, repeat. At least that's what Thich Nhat Hanh suggests. I've only read the first few pages of his book "Peace is Every Step" but he makes a lot of sense. If you don't know who I'm talking about you can read about him here.

One thing he said that I really like "Of course, thinking is important, but quite a lot of our thinking is useless." Pretty smart guy.

So stop, breathe, smile, repeat.

I guess what I'm trying to say is don't worry, be happy.