If there's one thing I know about myself it's that I'm a worrier. (Wait, have I mentioned that?) It's also really hard for me to come out of a funk once I fall in. When depressing, or I should say despairing thoughts take hold, I find them difficult to shake loose. Take my job situation for example.
I don't have one.
Having been married for just over 2 months now and having lived in the big city for almost as long, I have been searching, and searching, and searching for work. I'm OCD about checking job search engines. I'm sick of applying, sicker still of seeing my options disappear.
It's not just about the financial strain, though G-d knows it's a factor. It's the not having a purpose for my day part. Or the part about not leaving the house and staying in my pjs all the time. Each day is a repeat of the day before. Each day my confidence takes a hit. Each day brings me closer to the fear of something really bad happening if I don't find something soon. Or worse, I will settle for something that kills my soul but pays the bills. And every offer of "Don't worry, something will turn up, G-d has a plan" starts to sound like some trite solution the Employed offer to the Unemployed when things get uncomfortable. (No offense meant to the dear friends who have been trying to encourage me.)
On top of all this I am alone for most of the day. Zach is working, in a great job which (thankfully) he really enjoys. And I am so, so very happy for him. But that leaves me alone with my darkest thoughts for the majority of my time. So here's another tip. One that I tell myself over and over.
Get out of your own head.
It can be a very dangerous place to be. I, and many others, have been known to dwell there for weeks on end. It's very lonely, very grim, and very frightening. When you give into panicked emotions you are not thinking clearly so best to just get out of there.
People tend to shut others out at times like this. I know I do.
Don't.
Whatever your situation, whatever you are facing, whatever ugly ending is scaring you shitless, don't face it alone. Get out of your head, your house, and have a good conversation with someone. Watch a movie at a friend's. Cook dinner together. Don't give into the feeling that you just want to be left alone or you're not up for it.
Get up for it.
Literally out of bed, out of pjs, out the door. (But replacing pjs with clothes please.)
If nothing else, watch a Disney movie. As a friend once told me, you can't be down when you're watching a Disney movie. After all...
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come shining through
No matter how your heart is grieving,
If you keep on dreameeming*
The dreams that you wish
Will...come...true....
*new translation courtesy of 2 year old me*
I don't have one.
Having been married for just over 2 months now and having lived in the big city for almost as long, I have been searching, and searching, and searching for work. I'm OCD about checking job search engines. I'm sick of applying, sicker still of seeing my options disappear.
It's not just about the financial strain, though G-d knows it's a factor. It's the not having a purpose for my day part. Or the part about not leaving the house and staying in my pjs all the time. Each day is a repeat of the day before. Each day my confidence takes a hit. Each day brings me closer to the fear of something really bad happening if I don't find something soon. Or worse, I will settle for something that kills my soul but pays the bills. And every offer of "Don't worry, something will turn up, G-d has a plan" starts to sound like some trite solution the Employed offer to the Unemployed when things get uncomfortable. (No offense meant to the dear friends who have been trying to encourage me.)
On top of all this I am alone for most of the day. Zach is working, in a great job which (thankfully) he really enjoys. And I am so, so very happy for him. But that leaves me alone with my darkest thoughts for the majority of my time. So here's another tip. One that I tell myself over and over.
Get out of your own head.
It can be a very dangerous place to be. I, and many others, have been known to dwell there for weeks on end. It's very lonely, very grim, and very frightening. When you give into panicked emotions you are not thinking clearly so best to just get out of there.
People tend to shut others out at times like this. I know I do.
Don't.
Whatever your situation, whatever you are facing, whatever ugly ending is scaring you shitless, don't face it alone. Get out of your head, your house, and have a good conversation with someone. Watch a movie at a friend's. Cook dinner together. Don't give into the feeling that you just want to be left alone or you're not up for it.
Get up for it.
Literally out of bed, out of pjs, out the door. (But replacing pjs with clothes please.)
If nothing else, watch a Disney movie. As a friend once told me, you can't be down when you're watching a Disney movie. After all...
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come shining through
No matter how your heart is grieving,
If you keep on dreameeming*
The dreams that you wish
Will...come...true....
*new translation courtesy of 2 year old me*
