Lent Day 10: What the Danes know I get from the Swedes and the Dutch

I read a news article a few weeks ago when I was interested in finding out more about happiness. That's right, happiness. The peaceful, fizzy feeling on your insides that makes you smile at everything and everybody.

We all know that money doesn't buy happiness (neither can it buy you love, thanks Paul for clearing that up). Health is nice but doesn't guarantee you're heart will be full of good cheer, only that it will pump blood longer.

Everyone has their own version of what makes them happy. According to Moulin Rouge! the theme has got to be Freedom Beauty Truth and Loooooooove (sorry, I started singing it in my head). Thoreau might argue that you've got to live simply and get into nature to find the H-word. Christians would say the keys are Faith, Hope, and Love (the greatest of these being Love, thanks other Paul for clearing that up).

I found this interesting:

http://www.paltelegraph.com/opinions/editorials/1480-danish-study-low-expectations-key-to-happiness

If you don't feel like reading it, basically it's an article about a study finding that the happiest nation (Denmark) has low expectations. Thus they are pleasantly surprised when things go well. I would have to take that a step further to say the more it takes to make you happy the less happy you'll probably be.

I guess you could sum up my ideaology with this motto: Faith, Beauty, Moderation, and Love.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Faith is a key ingredient to happiness, but not necessarily the Christian faith. I know a lot of un or semi-happy Christians (and a lot of super-happy ones too) but there are also a lot of happy Hindus, Buddhists, Muslims etc. Faith is not a vehicle of happiness but rather gives meaning and purpose to our lives. Without meaning there can be no joy.

I'm going to lump these next two together because I think they need each other. Beauty and Moderation need to go hand in hand. There are some people in the world who will only be satisfied if they have the finest of everything. The biggest houses, cars, most fashionable clothes, gadgets, friends, etc. Then there are those who think that living in the poorest conditions, getting out of the rat race as it were and going down to the barest minimum is the way to find true happiness. I think that Moderation is key.

By all means, take yourself out of the rat race. Get rid of all the excess that clogs up your life and be free of the need for more. But consider that most people require some level of comfort in their lives in order to be happy. I don't have a lot of furniture and for a while I was sitting and eating my meals on the floor. But now I have a couch, a table and some chairs. They were all from Ikea or a flea market but they're comfortable. It doesn't take a mountain of gold to have a comfortable home. All it takes is an eye to see beauty.

Squalor and depravity does nothing for the human heart. Beauty in the everyday, in simple ways is a must. I bought those tulips at Walmart for 10 dollars. I've picked flowers from a ditch before that were magnificent. When I have a bad day I go buy me some Swedish Fish for a dollar.

Swedish Fish always cheer me up. They're made by the same company that makes Sour Patch Kids (love love love) and they're basically the Red Sour Patch Kids without the sour.

The point is you've got to bring beauty into your life and find small things that bring you happiness. No matter what conditions you live in. Maybe we should send flower seed packets to third world countries along with food and medical supplies.

Love is self-explanatory. You've got to have someone to talk to, listen to, joke with, cry with, and get pissed at. You've got to be connected. There are songs that say that God is all we need and he is enough. I don't think that's really true. I think that we think it should be true. I think God saw that it was not good for man to be alone so he created Eve. That isn't to say that marriage will bring happiness and fulfillment but that relationships do.

Shalom

It Wasn’t the End of the World

But it is now the end of the year. Friday night (12/21/12) Zach and I ate our “last meal” and watched Armageddon. Now I’m reflecting on previous posts about what I hoped to accomplish this year. Sidenote: Armageddon is a ridiculous movie. I love watching it, and yes, I shed a few tears, but geez the explosions and small town America symbolism are oozing from this film. Also, I will always love the song I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing. Forever.

As I looked back on the year I was able to do everything I hoped, basically. Grew my hair out, check, got back into the classroom, check, moved closer to work, check, got a bike, check (riding it wasn’t actually on the list, so it happens sporadically). I watched all the movies I wanted to see, read over 70 books, went to workshops, and in the end, I’ve decided for the time being I don’t need a camera when I have Instagram on my phone because it makes everything look awesome.

If anyone is wondering how on earth I managed to read over 70 books since last January 1st there were two ingredients essential to my success: my severe underemployment for the majority of the year and my possession of a library card.

There are some things I attempted and let go of that I need to pick back up. Like finishing my Spanish course on LiveMocha (I got all the way to Unit 2 of Level 4, the highest level, before burning out). I also learned the majority of the Hebrew Alphabet and could read substantial amounts of text (with about 8% understanding of what I was reading) but as they say, I didn’t continue using it so I lost it. That’s a paraphrase, they don’t actually say that.

I also memorized the capitals and countries of Europe, Asia, North and South America and then Africa stumped me. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. I never even got to Australia. So I need to pick that back up too. This time I’m just going to stick to countries and capitals and leave off the rivers, water bodies, and mountain ranges. It was a bit much.

Did this in Christine seem ambitious? Yes, yes it did.

So 2012 proved to be a year of many successes and some disappointments. I’m sure it was the same for you and it will be the same for all of us next year. But I want to end on a high note.

In 2012 I was really good at being Zach’s wife. We really like each other, and it’s awesome.

In 2012 I didn’t give up, I took the initiative, pounded the pavement, and got myself a job.



In 2012 I made new friends. And we all know friends are what get you through the day.

In 2012 we got our first Christmas tree and made homemade ornaments. I also carved my first pumpkin for Halloween.



In 2012 I was loved by my amazing friends and family, which really helped a lot.

In 2012 I bought a trench coat (on sale!) and I feel classy every time I wear it.

In 2012 I was accepted into a Montessori teacher training program. I didn’t begin the program because I got a public school job instead, but knowing I got accepted feels pretty good.

In 2012 I learned to bake bread from scratch, and it’s quite delicious if I do say so myself. Must make more.

In 2012 I visited Donalyn Miller’s classroom and she is fantastic.

In 2012 I started drinking water all the time. And I drink tea now, which is a big deal for me.

In 2012 I learned a great deal about myself. A very great deal.



So there’s my 12 of ‘12. I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year!

Let’s Break the Silence with Something Worth Talking About

I have been called a music snob. Actually I’m a snob about a lot of things. But yes, when it comes to music I have certain lines I won’t cross. Justin Bieber is one of those lines. I fail to see the draw. Even Zach gives him credit for selling out Madison Square Garden in 22 minutes, but I can’t give the kid props for mob mentality and a prevalent lack of musical taste in our culture.

Then some friends got me to listen to “As Long As You Love Me”.

(Haven’t heard it? Check it out.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-FVihIlU2g

I’ll admit, the beat is catchy. It’s fun to drive to. It’s also fun to think about. Take the chorus for example.

As long as you love me, we could be starving, we could be homeless, we could be broke. As long as you love me, I’ll be your platinum, I’ll be your silver, I’ll be your gold.

See? Catchy. As long as I love Justin Bieber, he’ll be my everything. He’ll be like gold to me. Indeed. But what about ME Justin? What about me? Will I be your everything? Am I worth more than platinum to you? *Hint: This song is not about him being loving you at all*

But, you may say, that’s not what he means. He’s going to “be your soldier, fightin’ every minute of the day for your dreams girl”. (First line, second verse. Don’t ask me what the rest of the verse is talking about. What the heck is a Hova? And why are you bringing Destiny’s Child into this?")

Back to the “soldier/fighting for your dreams girl” part. I thought the recent push, since I dunno, 1848, was for women to fight for their own dreams? Most women don’t want to be Cinderella, they don’t want to have to wait around for a guy to do something either. Not that I don’t love fairy tales, I just don’t want to live in one. (Unless I get a sword.)

*I have to give “Big Sean” credit for actually complimenting women in his part of the song. I like the part about watering your grass.*

So while I might enjoy driving to this song after a long day when I don’t want to think about anything, I’m not so sure I would want my daughter listening to it. I’d rather pop in the Mulan soundtrack. And don’t even get me started on the other lines I won’t cross, like Miley Cyrus or the literary fallacies of Taylor Swift (let’s face it, Helen Keller could pin the tail on that donkey.) I’ll never be listening to their music long enough to reach a conclusion.

Like, never ever ever.

I did it again

You might roll your eyes, that’s okay, go ahead…

If Bollywood did The Lord of the Rings…


I think we all know who would be playing Gandalf.

                                               
                                                            Like it could be anyone else.

For Aragorn, Farharn Aktar, I’d like to see him do a mysterious and serious warrior/king role.
                                               

Rajesh Vivek is perfect for Gimli.
                                                   

and Kunal Kapoor would make an awesome Legolas, plus he’s already really tall.
                                                 

For Boromir and Faramir, Saif Ali Khan and Ranbir Kapoor, respectively.
           

And Salman Khan playing Denethor (Steward of Gondor, their dad)
                                           

Theoden, King of Rohan, played by Rishi Kapoor
                                         
I would love to hear him make the speech from Helm’s Deep, when they go to make their last stand.

I think Akshay Kumar would make a fantastic Eomer, strong, warrior, big brother.
                             
And for Eowyn, Anoushka Sharma would be amazing! I’d love to watch her transform from sadness and loneliness to killing the Witch King. I AM NO MAN!

Grima Wormtongue would be played by Milind Gunaji, if you’ve seen him in Devdas you know why.
                                                

Jackie Shroff would make a good Saruman
                                        

And for the elves, Madhuri Dixit for Galadriel. I just love her.
                                               

Aamir Khan for Elrond
                                                      

And Amrita Rao for Arwyn, because she is the epitome of loveliness and this picture was what got me thinking about casting LOTR Bollywood style.
                       

Finally, for the hobbits, these guys are all great actors.
          

   Madhavan as Sam                         Abhay Deol as Merry              Sharman Joshi       
                                                                                                                   as Pippin

And the wild card, because I’ve only seen him in one movie but I think he would be interesting
                                               
Vir Das as Frodo AND Gollum. Partly because I think it would be interesting for him as an actor to tackle both roles and partly because of his voice in Dehli Belly after he’s almost hung reminds me of Gollum.

I tried to use new people for most of the roles, though there are a few repeats from my “If Bollywood Did Twilight” post. You may agree or disagree with my casting but I just like to play around with it when I’m bored or need distraction.

Oh yeah and I’m a tremendous nerd…

Christine and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Year (I think I’ll move to New Zealand)

I’ve decided I’m just going to write this and then when I’m finished maybe I’ll post it. We’ll see. If you’re reading this now then obviously I decided to post, so this entire paragraph is merely to demonstrate my hesitancy to share my deepest darkest secrets with the entire world via the internet.

I’m a very private person so it’s hard for me to open up like this but here it is:

I need a miracle.

Which sounds drastic I know. There are worse problems out there but this one is mine. It’s not a matter of life and death but I don’t care, this is the most important thing right now. God I’m already crying.

I can honestly say that this past year has been one of the hardest years of my life. Ironically our one year anniversary is this coming Monday but I am so blessed to say that being married to Zach has been the greatest gift. Somehow we’ve made it through.

You know I haven’t had a job this past year. Well, I’ve had a nanny job in the afternoons but while I love the kids I can’t afford to stay with them. And it’s more than a little degrading to think that I’m went to college and got a teaching degree and now I’m doing a job that any high schooler with a drivers license is capable of. I’m really, really good at my job, but I need a reliable, full time job.

I’m not sure I can put into words the psychological and emotional effects of not being able to take care of yourself, when you know you’re capable if you could just have the chance. If you’ve ever experienced this then you know and if you haven’t then you don’t. I am so tired of relying on others. And while I am so incredibly thankful to them I want us to be able to do it ourselves. I won’t go into a lot of detail, but I’ll give you one example. This past Christmas, a very generous someone gave me a 50 dollar gift card. The old me would have used it to enjoy a night out or, I don’t know, buy a book or something. We used it to buy our groceries that week.

This inability to provide for our own needs has taken it’s toll on both of us. For me it’s been hard to come to grips with the loss of purpose to my day, the hours of nothing that needs taking care of. I can’t even enjoy summer vacation because I haven’t been working enough to need it. I see this summer stretch out like a vast chain of days with no end in sight. And if I don’t get a job for next Fall, I’m terrified that this year will repeat itself. I’ve applied to nearly 100 jobs so far and haven’t heard back from a single one yet. That’s teaching jobs this year, not to mention the countless non-teaching jobs I applied for, jobs that I’m either over qualified for or don’t have enough experience for.

I don’t want hand outs. I just want a job. I want financial freedom for our family. Have you ever wanted something so badly that your whole body focused on it? Like trying to stop a loved one from dying or a heart from breaking and you’ve done all you can but you’re helpless? That’s the only thing I can think to compare this to.

I want to assure everyone that I’m not depressed. I don’t sit around crying all day and I have had some very good times this past year. I try to focus on the good stuff. But although I’ve made the best of it this year has been hell and I am stuck in limbo.

So I just have one request. If you’ve managed to read this whole thing and if you are a person who believes in prayer, please pray for 2 things:

1. Please pray that I get a teaching job for this fall. I’ve applied to several good schools I just want the chance to get back in the classroom.

2. Pray also for our housing situation. If I get a teaching job there is an opportunity for us that I think will be a major breakthrough. I don’t want to go into details yet but G-d knows what it is.

If you don’t pray but you wouldn’t mind sending some happy thoughts and good vibes our way I’d appreciate that too.

I have my heart set on certain dreams and I’m trying not to get my hopes up but damn, it would be nice to have something to look forward to.

I really do appreciate anyone who’s read this entire post. The introvert in me is screaming not to publish because I have an extreme aversion to asserting myself or sharing my feelings, but I’m beyond that right now.

I feel like I should end on a good note or something. So I'll share with you my desktop background. Ask me what I think Heaven looks like and I’ll tell you, “Probably New Zealand.”

         
This picture was taken by Trey Ratcliff. His website is stuckincustoms.com, and you should check out his photography. I didn’t get paid to say that I just like his work.


**It took me about 5 minutes to come up with a (barely, slightly clever) title for this post, and since I wrote the post first and then titled it, no, I didn’t know the title would end up tying it all together nicely but in a jovial way that doesn’t really give a hint of it's true contents. It is what it is.**

You Jump I Jump Jack

I saw Titanic in 3D today.

The first time I saw it I was eleven years old. Which was a big deal when you’re eleven and it’s a 3 hour movie and there’s nudity and a sex scene in it and your mom tells you to close your eyes. (Seeing it as an adult, that sex scene was pretty tame and I would say tastefully done.)

There are three reasons I know I was eleven when I saw Titanic:

1. When I was eleven I took a dance class and our instructor put the soundtrack on one day during our warm ups. That was why I wanted to see the movie in the first place. My friends had all gone to see it already but I wasn’t interested until I heard the music (more on that later.)

2. When I was in sixth grade those same friends and I would sit in this one place outside after lunch and I remember singing the theme from Titanic during this time while we were out there. (Dork to the core.) Not the Celine Dion song, I mean the “oooooooooooooooo” song from the actual soundtrack, which was my favorite part.

3. But speaking of “My Heart Will Go On” yes, I listened to the radio constantly so I could record it on my radio tape. Luckily it was on the “Top 5 at 9” for several weeks so it wasn’t hard. Also, three words: Junior High Dances.

It really is a good movie. And of course I loved the costumes and the set design. It makes me want to watch Downton Abbey again, which is basically Titanic anyway but without all the water. Sort of.

And can I just give props to Kate and Leo for their performances? Not only were they good in this movie but they continued to be amazing actors and have become the best in the business today, which, let’s face it, was due in large part to their roles in Titanic.

              
                                         I remember seeing it in a magazine (which of course I had to buy).


I was wondering how I would react to it as an adult, 15 years later. I was able to appreciate some things I didn’t catch the first time around. For example, when the big gruff guy is explaining the sinking with a computer program? During the backstory there is a minor character at every checkpoint he presented (Fabrizio is crushed by the falling smokestack, the ship breaks apart right where Lovejoy is standing, etc.) I think being in the room with James Cameron while he wrote the screenplay would have been interesting “What can I do to make sure Jack and Rose stay on the ship right until the very end? Oh I know, I’ll just keep making them run below deck!”


The interesting thing for me about watching it the first time was how emotional I was during the movie. I wasn’t upset because Jack died, I mean I basically started weeping when they locked the 3rd class passengers below deck and just kept on sobbing all the way through the scenes of the old couple, and the mom and her kids. I didn’t cry this time but I will say I did tear up when the musicians started playing "Nearer My God To Thee” during those same scenes. It was traumatic at eleven and it stayed with me for a long time. I used to listen to the soundtrack over and over, thinking about the people on the ship, in a way that only a preteen with morbid tendencies can understand.

Yes I owned the soundtrack, both actually. You didn’t know there was a second one? There was and it’s better than the original. It’s better because it has the piano version of “Rose” and the full recording of “Come Josephine in My Flying Machine” AND most especially because it has the Irish music from the party in 3rd class.  I’m a sucker for bagpipes.

If you’re in junior high and you want all the other kids to think you’re cool you should take piano lessons and then get the sheet music to the theme song of THE movie at the time and casually play it one day in the band hall. Groups of fascinated and shrieking peers will be drawn to you. You’ll have to play it a few more times until the novelty wears off. Unfortunately for today's youth they don’t really have any big songs at the end of movies anymore so this may not work. I think it was more of a James Horner thing anyway (name a film score by James Horner that doesn’t have a big song during the credits and I’ll give you a high five.)

(Nevermind. Braveheart, I’ll high five myself.)

**No memories were exaggerated in the writing of this post.


BONUS!

I get extremely annoyed with people who think they're being smart and clever and say stupid things. Like how there was "enough room" for two people on the "door" at the end of the movie.

1. I don't think it was a door. If you look at it, it appears to be more of a mantlepiece (you know, like above a fireplace) with a lot of heavy carving at the top and a curve at the bottom. Even if it was a door...

2. It has nothing to do with "room". It has to do with buoyancy (the ability of matter to float). Their combined weight on the "door" caused it to capsize when they tried it. Jack saw what was happening and he knew it wouldn't work. They clearly show this in the film.

3. He made the sacrifice for her because he loved her. She was really traumatized by the nights events and he was more clear headed than she was at the time. So instead of calling her a "bitch" you want her to let him  take her spot? Because that's what real men do, they push women they love into freezing waters. It's part of the storyline, and it's the only ending that makes sense.

Even I understood this when I was eleven. *mumbles judgmental expletives*

My 30 Before 30

After careful consideration, I finalized my list.

1. Get completely out of debt. This may take a while.

2. Learn to read Hebrew fluently. I’m about halfway through the aleph bet.

                      

3. Become fluent in Spanish. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve learned “Buenos dias” this time I’m going to finish what I started. After I learn Spanish I’ll add another language.

4. Launch a new blog. Like, a new one, with a specific purpose in mind.

5. Learn to use Excel, make videos, and edit photos. I should probably buy a camera for this one.

6. Go on a road trip with Zach. Not sure where yet. Probably West.

                    

7. Write a book. I’ve just always wanted to do it. Suggestions welcome.

8. Go to Norway (England and Scotland) with my mom. Summer 2014!

            

9. Develop and stick to a cleaning routine. I have a plan.

10. Attend a blogging conference. I’m a nerd.

11. Accumulate my “dream wardrobe”. Meaning shopping for very specific clothes. Audrey Hepburn trench coat is on the list :)

                      

12. Go camping. I’ve never been.

13. Memorize 20 poems.


14. Teach someone to read.


15. Read 250 books. I can read books I’ve already read but if I read it twice in the next four years it only counts once.

                          

16. Enter a story contest.


17. Go to a tiny house workshop. Preferably one I could drive to.

18. Learn to identify every country and capital. Because not many people can do this. Also, capital is a strange word. Capital…capital…capital.

19. Dred my hair.


                            

20. Have professional pictures taken of myself. Because Pinterest makes me want to.

21. Learn Sashiko embroidery. This one of my two crafty things.

                      

22. Cook or bake 100 new recipes and compile my favorites. I love cooking!


23. Skydive. I didn’t want to do this until I saw Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara.
            

24. Learn hooping.
            

There are other good hooping videos out there. I didn’t title this one but she is very
good!

25. Make a quilt. This is my other crafty thing.

26. Throw a party. Not a kegger, more like a barbeque or a tea party. I haven’t settled on a theme yet.

27. Have a Jane Austen Movie Marathon. At least one movie version of every book. It might take an entire weekend.

28. Attend a storytelling workshop or conference. Because storytellers are awesome!

29. Learn Kathak. Which I’ve been wanting to do ever since I watched Madhuri Dixit in Devdas.

              

30. I have a lot of other “possibilities” so I’m leaving this one blank. Between now and 30 I will do something awesome and add it to the list.



Deadline: April 18, 2016

I’m Making a Plan to Make a Plan

For the past few days, I’ve been thinking of making one of those “30 before 30” lists. It seems like everyone has them, at least they seem to because I’ve been scouring the internet for other people’s lists* and ideas. For the record, I’ve been making lists like this since I was, I don’t know, seven? That’s right; I was making bucket lists before anyone had heard of a bucket list. Remember when I said I have a lot of notebooks? Well, besides house plans they are pretty much filled with lists and goals.

   

That being said, some earlier lists included things like “swim with dolphins” or “ride in a hot air balloon” which will not be included on my new list. Not because I’ve done them but because those aren’t things I actually care about. I mean, I wouldn’t say no to those options but I’m not going out of my way to making it a life goal. So my rule number one is only put things on the list that I really care about, not just because it sounds cool.

Rule Number Two is not to put something on my list that I couldn’t actually do. Like, I would love to trek Machu Picchu but I’m probably saving that one for my 40 before 40 list, because travel costs money and we have other uses for money at present. (There are a couple of travel items on the list so far but much less expensive than say “Backpack through Europe”.) I’m also trying to keep the list specific. I’ve seen goals on Pinterest like “Be genuinely happy”. (As opposed to what, being deceptively happy?) It’s just too broad. Having good relationships and doing good in the world are what make me happy, and I can’t put “Have good relationships” and “do good in the world” on my list, because when would I check them off? Plan a surprise for someone or donate money to a good cause are more specific and foster those other lifelong goals much better.

I’m also (Rule Number 3) not going to put a lot of crafty things on my list (sew a dress, crochet a scarf, make a scrapbook, buy something old and repaint it, etc.) At 26, I’ve finally accepted the fact that I am not a crafty person. I will buy the supplies for whatever awesome DIY thing I want to try and they will sit there, untouched, for months. It’s a huge waste of money for me to keep doing this. As much as I wish I was a crafty gal I’m just not. If you want a knitted blanket talk to Zach, I’m doing good just to have a garden going and I wouldn’t say a garden is a “craft”. (There are a couple of “crafty” things on the list but I think I can manage it. I tend to be crafty only when it comes to hand making a gift for someone, then I usually scrape by with a decent product.)

**I forgot to put this in the original post but in addition to no crafty things, I'm also not doing any athletic things like P90X or running a K of any kind. That's not how I roll.**

This list is not work related. Trust me, if when I get a teaching job again I have a whole other set of goals related to that. This list is just for fun.

So I’m finalizing it and I’ll post again when it’s complete. If you have any ideas that you would put on YOUR 30 before 30 list (or 20 before 20 or whatever) let me know. You know me, I love lists :)

*Sidenote: Try Pinteresting “Bucket List”. It seems that most people want to ride a horse, see the Eiffel Tower, and swim in every ocean (many of them naked, skinny dipping is a big goal too), and everyone wants to travel everywhere. A few want to send a letter by owl and see a mermaid, which would be amazing but highly improbable, and many goals seem to have been inspired by Nicolas Sparks movies (kiss in the rain, put a message in a bottle, lay in the road in the middle of the night). Some want things to happen to them, like receive an edible arrangement and others want to own a ‘67 Chevy Impala, of which I am sure there is a limited number. I find it fascinating.

But then I was like “Hiiiya!”

So I don’t know about you but there are a few random things in this life that scare me. Not like, truly awful things such as death or plague. My fears tend to be more on the silly side. Like tarantula sightings (so far this week: 2), or cars that appear to be following me home at night (even though they’re not), or popping balloons, or bugs that fly too close to my head.

Some people are afraid of roaches. Roaches actually just make me angry and I kill them ASAP, hitting them an average of seven times to ensure death. But you know what else is scary? What gets me every time?

Opening a can of biscuits.

                                                   

Is it not one of the more frightening occurrences in the Western World? It’s like playing Jack in the Box, but I never liked playing Jack in the Box because IT MAKES ME JUMP EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I’m not kidding, I’ve been known to ask Zach to open the biscuits for me because I was hungry but I really didn’t want to open them myself. I can’t do it and not jump.

It’s bad enough when you’re pulling the paper off the outside. If it pops in your hands that’s pretty scary. But what if it doesn’t pop? What if you tear all the paper off and the can is still intact? Then you’re supposed to hit it on the counter or press the line with a spoon and try to make it open, and I get really, really nervous about it.

However, I discussed this recently with a friend of mine and she gave me an excellent tip. Today I was opening a can of biscuits by myself and I did this and it seriously works

You have to make that can of biscuits know who’s boss!

You have to remember that, like roaches and tarantulas, and buzzy bugs around your head, YOU are bigger than that can of biscuits. You shouldn’t be afraid of it, it should be afraid of you!

So today when I needed to open the can of biscuits, I slowly, cautiously peeled the paper off. Then I grabbed the can and hit it on the counter with a loud “Hiya!” I did this two or three times, “Hiya! Hiya! Hiya!” and it busted open. I felt triumphant. No fear, just awesomeness.

Christine 1, Can of Doom 0.

I encourage any of you who have silly fears like mine to try the Hiya Tactic*. I’m pretty sure it can be adapted to many situations. You might get some strange looks from people but if you explain it I’m sure they’ll go and do the same, even thank you later.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. - Eleanor Roosevelt


You tell ‘em Ellie. You must do the thing you think you cannot do! You must open the biscuits! You must kill the bug! You must face your fears with a brave and fierce HIYA!

*The Hiya only works when yelled with a general attitude of bad*ssness. If done correctly I assure you it works.

What I’ve Learned from Jack Sparrow (No, really)

Wherever we want to go, we'll go. That's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that's what a ship needs but what a ship is... what the Black Pearl really is... is freedom. – Jack Sparrow

                               
                                  (Sidenote: Clicking on any of the pictures in this post will bring you to their original source, and some really good reads.)


It’s no secret Zach and I are into alternative ideas when it comes to living. We grow our own veggies in containers, we collect rainwater, we dream of someday living in a house under 800 square feet that we built ourselves, using reclaimed materials and perhaps straw bales. Most recently, and by recently I mean yesterday, Zach really wants to raise chickens. (I reminded him we need to take baby steps.)

Basically we’re hippies, but only in an environmentally friendly, non-consumeristic, “let it be” kind of way.

I’ve been following the tiny house movement for years, since I was in high school. The interesting thing about tiny houses (or small dwellings in general) is how hard it can be to obtain one, and I don’t mean the cost. I’m talking about the red tape.

There are many reasons to build small and I’ll probably explore them in another post someday. There are several companies who build beautiful small structures. There’s an entire philosophy behind the tiny house movement and the reclaimed materials movement (and both complement each other extremely well) so it’s worth exploring for yourself. But what stops many people joining in?

Zoning.

                        

In the 1950s, the average house size was around 900 square feet. Many people would balk at that kind of size for a house but think again. I’ve lived in some very nice 900 square foot houses, very comfortably. Most people live in the same amount of space right now. It’s called an apartment. However, few people dream of building an apartment sized house. Houses are supposed to be big, open, expensive. Houses are supposed to mean that you’ve arrived, you own your home, you can join the ranks of successful Americans who are living the dream.

The average house size today is somewhere between 2,400 and 2,500 square feet. Yes, that’s more than twice what it was in 1950.



Two questions for you:

Do we really need that much space?

What about the people who are less interested in arriving and more interested in becoming?

Think carefully.

Tiny/small houses are not for everyone. But zoning laws in most states force everyone to build huge if they want to own their own house. It’s not constitutional, and the reasons behind it are strictly mercenary. Bigger houses means more money for a lot of people. Not homeowners, other people.

Even if you dream of owning a huge house someday (and you have every right to) wouldn’t you agree that those of us interested in owning a home under 1,000 square feet should have that right as well? That the only say in your house the government should have is to make sure it’s structurally sound, not dictate how large it should be?

Building a tiny house should be a viable option, just like starting your own small business is. It takes work, and you’re not in it for “The Man”, you’re doing it for yourself. You have the freedom to do it, and it gives you freedom in return, to live the life you want. Life on your terms. (That’s where the Jack Sparrow quote comes in. Wherever we want to go, we'll go. That's what a tiny house is, you know. It's not just a roof and a floor and windows and walls , that's what a house needs but what a house is... what a tiny house really is... is freedom.)

                            

Tiny houses and small dwellings are not shacks. Most of them are beautiful, hand crafted, intentional homes built by people who want to live out their ideals.

                          

There is a petition to get the federal government to reform the zoning laws and allow homes under 1000 ft. to be built. In this economy, it could potentially help a lot of people live their dreams.

http://wh.gov/nBE

Please follow through to the petition and sign. Tell your friends, link to this post, get the word out. And while you’re at it, if you’ve never paid attention before, check out the tiny house movement. Google it. You might be surprised, and inspired, by all the things you find.

Guidelines for Holi Virgins

Today is the Holi Festival in India and all over the world. Holi, otherwise known as the Festival of Colors, is a Hindu festival celebrating the coming of Spring and the triumph of Good over Evil. It is celebrated by people throwing brightly colored powders and paints on each other and dancing. Generally all around good fun! (Did I mention there are water guns?)

My friend Becca and I went to a Holi celebration this past Saturday and had the time of our lives! If you've never been to Holi but you get the chance to go (major US cities with higher Indian populations will likely have celebrations) here are a few tips:

1. Wear as much white as possible, at least a white shirt. Whatever the color of your clothes, make sure you don’t care about them at all and plan on their being destroyed.

2. Leave jewelry at home, it won’t hurt them but I’d just rather not have to deal with it. DO bring sunglasses (I wish I had). Leave your bags in the car. Just bring some cash, your keys, and a picture taking device in your pockets.

3. Bring a towel for the ride home. (Hitchhiker’s is still right about this one.)

4. It doesn’t matter what age you are, where you come from, or what you look like, everyone is welcome. Unless you don’t intend to throw colors or dance. Then I’m not sure why you came and you’d be better off at home.

5. Hydrate.

6. Once you have your color throw it at anyone and everyone in a spirit of fun and community. Don’t forget to say “Happy Holi!”

7. DON’T throw colors in people’s face. Rub it on their face and in their hair with your fingers. I asked a girl who had yellow (a color I didn’t have “on” yet) if she would rub some on my face. She said sure and threw a handful in my face before I knew it. I guess I should have made myself clearer.

Like this. 

8. Try to keep your mouth shut as much as possible because the powder does get into your teeth and you’ll be spitting colors for a while. Also keep your eyes closed because it’s very uncomfortable getting it in your eyes (as when the girl threw it in my face). This is where sunglasses come in handy.

9. Dance. No one cares. Seriously. Just do what everyone else is doing (or channel your favorite Bollywood star) and have a good time.

10. Make new friends. Talk to strangers. Act the fool. It will be worth it and you will always remember it!

If I were really cool I would make one of those things they have on Pinterest but since I’m pretty thoroughly uncool I’ll just say it here:

What I think I look like on Holi:



What I actually look like:


                         



picture
picture this link has some amazing photos of Holi!
picture

For more photos of Holi just type "holi" into google and search images. You'll get the general idea. And for anyone who is wondering, yes, going to Holi for me (as a Bollywood fan) was like a nerdy kid going to a Star Wars convention. Best Day Ever!

Sip sip

In order for me to tell you the thought that occurred to me first I have to tell you a story.

The semester before Zach and I started dating he lived with 2 other guys in the dorms of his college campus (mind you it was a 2 person dorm, which meant one of them was sleeping on the floor). At the end of that semester between the three of them they had earned all of 6 credit hours.

Stop, think, do the math. Okay.*

The other night when we were talking about this he mentioned one of his roommates (an art major) did however manage to pull through with a 4.0, due to his dropping every class except sculpting and then acing it.

That’s when I made the flippant remark that the 4.0 shouldn’t really count because he was just an art student and the other two had real classes to go to (if only they had**).

About five seconds later I realized what I had just said. I never think I’m a judgmental person until I catch myself doing it (more than I like to admit). I never think the biases of society pertain to me until I find myself acting exactly as expected.

Oh no, not I. I’m above those sorts of things. I have an open mind. I watch documentaries. I read more books than I watch television shows. I don’t even HAVE a television I have a library card! I didn’t drink the Kool-Aid I just took a few sips. (What? It was red!)

But when did being an artist become a stupid, non-realistic, career only slackers try for? When did doing something as incredibly brave and challenging as creating put someone else lower on the food chain and allow the rest of us to feel entitled because at least we weren’t doing that?

So in the few seconds it took me to run through a much less elaborate analysis of my own bias I spoke up. “Actually I take it back,” I said, “I think maybe we’ve got it backwards. Because the rest of us were just sitting around in classes listening to lectures for the most part and making presentations of information we found in books. While art students were actually creating something. They had to come up with something on their own, work on it every day, and it had to be good and not just a copy. What they do is actually a lot harder.”

Zach thought about it. “Yeah, that’s true.”

                 

When I was a kid the first thing I remember wanting to be was an artist, or at the very least the person who gets to name the crayon colors. Somewhere along the way I gave up that dream for a more familiar path. I’m not saying I was meant to be a great painter. But if I had unknowingly allowed that prejudice to filter into my brain, what other areas of life might it be influencing? How I view other people? My students? Myself?

I mean, who wants to raise their hand and say “No I’m not creative and I look down on those who are.” Even if you don’t see yourself as creative don’t you still want to be?

And just in case, while we’re on the subject, have you been sipping the Kool-Aid too?

Think about it.


 picture

*This is my sneaky teacher side tricking you into doing a word problem muahaha.
**I would like to point out that Zach didn’t miss a single class the entire last two years he was in college. And it wasn’t because of me either it was because he decided to do something about it.

Control Part 2

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the issue of birth control, and since I’ve written about it before and my apprehensions about using it I thought I might do a follow up.

Spoiler alert: To any guys reading this the words “uterus” and “period” will probably show up at some point so if you, like my husband, seek to deny the occurrence of the phenomenon known as a woman’s “time of the month” because you think it’s gross I suggest you go elsewhere.

But seriously.

I’ve been on birth control now for about a year and it has been an interesting year. It’s amazing to me how when I was younger and I first started my period I was so excited and then as the months went by I came to dread it because of the cramps. Something about the ripping of the uterine lining just does not comfort the soul. Pretty much I knew that for the first day or two of my period I was going to feel like absolute shite. Not to mention the PMS beforehand.

(See this is me doing my best to scare away all the boys.)

All that changes when you start having sex. Actually that’s not quite right. It doesn’t change, you still feel awful, what changes is that, unless you’re wanting to get pregnant, when cramps come you welcome it. Before I was sexually active I would beg God and pain killers to make it go away. Then I started having sex and worried that somehow it wouldn't work and I'd end up pregnant anyway. Did it stop me from having sex? Um, no. But every month when I knew I was due to start I would wait, I would worry, I would pray. It took me a long time to trust my birth control. In fact there were a couple of occasions when I was stressed, which delayed my period because stress does that, but it only serves to freak you out even more which, you guessed it, delays your period.

Oy vey.

(I have since reminded myself every month if I start to freak out thinking I won’t start my period and that I am in fact pregnant it’s probably a good sign of PMS and Aunt Flo is about to come to town. Cheers me right up.)


                    

A lot of people seem to be talking about birth control and women’s rights and trying to make it an issue (see the above picture). Some people think it’s sinful to use birth control and some people think birth control is the savior of womankind. I’m just going to share my experience. Just in case someone reads this who doesn’t know me and writes me off as someone who wants to have free sex without consequences, is unwomanly, or worst case scenario, Going Against God’s Plan. (I thought of something worse actually. What if I were a representative of Planned Parenthood? *cue screams and dramatic music*. j/k, j/k I’m totally not.)

I didn’t have sex until marriage, I waited, I played by the “rules” and was a “good girl”. For the record, it's true, abstinence is the most effective form of birth control. I didn't have any babies. But that doesn't help you much after you get married. So yes, for 25 years I was a virgin. And I’m glad, not because I think it means I’m better than someone who hasn't waited, not even because I think God likes me better for abstaining from sex. I’m glad because I love my husband and can’t imagine being intimate with anyone but him. I’m glad because I remained true to myself and my integrity for the choices I made concerning my life, which to me is a way of honoring God anyway, by being true to myself. If that’s not your choice that’s okay. If you’re uncomfortable with what I just said because you think it’s too conservative or not conservative enough, I applaud you. I only hope you will live your life with the same integrity and respect for yourself that I have. I’m not perfect but I own my choices (or as they say in Hindi films, I take my decisions).

If I waited until marriage to have sex why am I not excited to become a mom right away? I know plenty of other girls I went to school with who have kids already, some are already learning their ABCs. And it’s weird to think that someday my child could be entering school when the kids of my peers are graduating. But it’s okay. They have adorable kids, I will (maybe) have adorable kids*. They just won’t have playdates together. There are a lot of reasons why I’m not ready to be a mom, it’s a personal choice for each woman, each couple, each family. One day there may be a lot of reasons why I’m ready to have a baby. That day and this day are both good days.

Here’s the thing about birth control: I’m glad it’s available. I think that women who never want to use it are awesome. Some women want to be mothers more than anything and that is amazing and important. Some women never want to have kids and they are just as fully beautiful and womanly as every other woman. And some, like me, think that someday it would be wonderful to be a mom but not today. Not anytime soon. When I decide I’m ready to commit to that relationship I’ll do it. But not today. Not anytime soon.

As a friend once said, one can never over-think a life changing event such as having a child. Whatever your decision is take it, own it, and be thankful you live in a country that allows you to say yes, no, or…maybe.


*Of course if we decide to have kids they will be adorable. (Zach is quite the looker if I do say so myself.) The “maybe” here refers to our current indecision on the subject of parenthood.

Because Wikipedia is Written by Random People Whose Judgment Can’t Be Trusted

For the past month I’ve been studying for the big test I have to take next week(for extra teacher certification). Basically it’s reviewing everything you learned in grade school and how to teach it. Kind of like “Are you smarter than a 6th grader? Great! We’ll give you a classroom.”

So each of the major subjects are addressed in this textbook I’m renting. And it took me about 5 days to get through the Social Studies section, because it gives you a basic rundown of the history of the world, government, economics, and geography. Yeah.

But what struck me most as I was reading this chapter were the errors I was finding. This book, which is an official study reference written by two people (professors?) from the University of Houston had the following things to say. These are isolated incidences, so they will be typed verbatim but out of context. Since you already know the context is a chapter on Social Studies, it doesn’t matter. My thoughts will be written in underneath. (If it’s bold it’s a vocabulary word in the book.)

“In World War II, the Allies (France, the former USSR, Great Britain, and many others) fought against the Axis (Germany, Italy, Austria, and Japan)…”


As far as I can remember, Austria wasn’t officially a part of “The Axis”. Yes, it was invaded (“annexed”) by Germany and had a high concentration of Nazis stationed there, but if this is what you’re basing your point on you need to include Poland and France and a bunch of others so they don’t feel left out. And if I were Austrian, I’d be ticked off at this accusation, especially if I knew for a fact that my forefathers were singing “Edelweiss” with the Von Trapp family, and totally had nothing to do with being buddy buddy with Nazis. (I know that a lot of Austrians were pro-Nazi, but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t resistance, or that they didn’t have to kill a bunch of Austrian leaders to get in. And if that’s not an invasion then I don’t know what is.)


“Passover is a Jewish holiday commemorating the Exodus of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt. The Jews left so quickly after their release from pharaoh that they did not even wait for their bread to rise. In remembrance, Jewish people avoid eating grain products and leavened bread products during this time.”


“Damnit Samuel I said LEAVE the bread! We don’t have time! Just grab the goats and run! Quick, before they change their minds!”

“By the sixth grade, students should be able to locate the following countries on a map of the world: Canada, Mexico, France, Germany, Great Britain, Italy, Spain, Norway, Sweden, Russia, South Africa, Nigeria, Iraq, Iran, India, Pakistan, the Peoples’ Republic of China, The Republic of China (Taiwan), Japan, North Korea, South Korea, Indonesia, and Australia.”


Did anyone else catch that the only 2 African countries listed were South Africa (NOT hard to find at all) and Nigeria? Why Nigeria? Egypt isn’t even mentioned. No countries from South America are included. Russia is the top of Asia, Canada and Mexico are the top and bottom of North America respectively, Australia is both a continent and a country. Afghanistan isn’t on the list but Nigeria is included. Again, why? (Why shouldn’t all the countries be included? Too hard for kids or just sticking to the standards?)

Renewable resources are those that can be replaced in the foreseeable future. For example, forests can be replanted after trees are cut, and a water supply in a certain area is replenished by rain.


I had no idea that water is a renewable resource. I guess I should have figured it out on my own, seeing as how every time I flush the toilet it fills back up with clean water.

Am I being picky? Perhaps. I just think it’s interesting that with math and science, writing and reading, you stick with facts. There are rules, there are guidelines, there is research. Social Studies is completely dependent on who is doing the talking. Whether it’s history, the environment, culture, or what’s important to know, it all depends on your point of view. Your perspective of the world shapes not just your beliefs but also how you evaluate other people, situations, even facts.

                     

Maybe you think that none of the above mistakes are important. But if your country was invaded, would you want it listed with those who did the invading? I’m pretty sure the meaning of Passover is important to practicing Jews, all the countries in the world are important in determining the direction of our world, and people who’s lakes have dried up over the past few months care about water conservation. Not taking the time to fully understand something builds up over time. It starts when we’re children and a grown up tells us something or we read it in a book. Maybe we don't bother to know anything about another group because we were taught to disregard their strange ways, because they aren't relevant to our way of life, or they were
"evil". That belief becomes part of us until we become something…quite possibly something ugly. Something that represses and dismisses. Something that stifles and resists. Something that willfully misunderstands and hates.

         

                         

I'm not trying to target a specific group. I'm just using these as an example of seeds that were planted long ago. It doesn’t matter what religion, race, class, or party you belong to. This type of behavior is present in all of them and all of us if we let it. We may not think we're anything like the people who do those things but we could be under the right circumstances. Shouldn't we try to understand all sides? Don’t we, especially educators and textbook publishers, have a responsibility to teach kids to question, research, understand, and evaluate? Shouldn’t we be making decisions based on what is best for not only ourselves, but also those on the other side, even the ones we don’t understand? Even the ones we may hate? And not just for right now but for the long haul?

Everyone has an answer, but does anyone have the heart?

I honestly don’t think this will ever be solved. The only thoughts and actions I can control are my own. And they will not be governed by hate or fear, but by compassion and understanding. That is what I will strive to teach and to live out. Because maybe the next generation will have parents and teachers who teach that everyone, everywhere is important. Maybe families of different faiths will have each other over for dinner and become friends. Maybe we'll stop wasting everything we've been given and start giving this world our best effort. Maybe it will start at the grassroots level and spread until the whole world stops and breathes a sigh of relief.

In the meantime, I hope I pass my test.