Sip sip

In order for me to tell you the thought that occurred to me first I have to tell you a story.

The semester before Zach and I started dating he lived with 2 other guys in the dorms of his college campus (mind you it was a 2 person dorm, which meant one of them was sleeping on the floor). At the end of that semester between the three of them they had earned all of 6 credit hours.

Stop, think, do the math. Okay.*

The other night when we were talking about this he mentioned one of his roommates (an art major) did however manage to pull through with a 4.0, due to his dropping every class except sculpting and then acing it.

That’s when I made the flippant remark that the 4.0 shouldn’t really count because he was just an art student and the other two had real classes to go to (if only they had**).

About five seconds later I realized what I had just said. I never think I’m a judgmental person until I catch myself doing it (more than I like to admit). I never think the biases of society pertain to me until I find myself acting exactly as expected.

Oh no, not I. I’m above those sorts of things. I have an open mind. I watch documentaries. I read more books than I watch television shows. I don’t even HAVE a television I have a library card! I didn’t drink the Kool-Aid I just took a few sips. (What? It was red!)

But when did being an artist become a stupid, non-realistic, career only slackers try for? When did doing something as incredibly brave and challenging as creating put someone else lower on the food chain and allow the rest of us to feel entitled because at least we weren’t doing that?

So in the few seconds it took me to run through a much less elaborate analysis of my own bias I spoke up. “Actually I take it back,” I said, “I think maybe we’ve got it backwards. Because the rest of us were just sitting around in classes listening to lectures for the most part and making presentations of information we found in books. While art students were actually creating something. They had to come up with something on their own, work on it every day, and it had to be good and not just a copy. What they do is actually a lot harder.”

Zach thought about it. “Yeah, that’s true.”

                 

When I was a kid the first thing I remember wanting to be was an artist, or at the very least the person who gets to name the crayon colors. Somewhere along the way I gave up that dream for a more familiar path. I’m not saying I was meant to be a great painter. But if I had unknowingly allowed that prejudice to filter into my brain, what other areas of life might it be influencing? How I view other people? My students? Myself?

I mean, who wants to raise their hand and say “No I’m not creative and I look down on those who are.” Even if you don’t see yourself as creative don’t you still want to be?

And just in case, while we’re on the subject, have you been sipping the Kool-Aid too?

Think about it.


 picture

*This is my sneaky teacher side tricking you into doing a word problem muahaha.
**I would like to point out that Zach didn’t miss a single class the entire last two years he was in college. And it wasn’t because of me either it was because he decided to do something about it.

Control Part 2

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the issue of birth control, and since I’ve written about it before and my apprehensions about using it I thought I might do a follow up.

Spoiler alert: To any guys reading this the words “uterus” and “period” will probably show up at some point so if you, like my husband, seek to deny the occurrence of the phenomenon known as a woman’s “time of the month” because you think it’s gross I suggest you go elsewhere.

But seriously.

I’ve been on birth control now for about a year and it has been an interesting year. It’s amazing to me how when I was younger and I first started my period I was so excited and then as the months went by I came to dread it because of the cramps. Something about the ripping of the uterine lining just does not comfort the soul. Pretty much I knew that for the first day or two of my period I was going to feel like absolute shite. Not to mention the PMS beforehand.

(See this is me doing my best to scare away all the boys.)

All that changes when you start having sex. Actually that’s not quite right. It doesn’t change, you still feel awful, what changes is that, unless you’re wanting to get pregnant, when cramps come you welcome it. Before I was sexually active I would beg God and pain killers to make it go away. Then I started having sex and worried that somehow it wouldn't work and I'd end up pregnant anyway. Did it stop me from having sex? Um, no. But every month when I knew I was due to start I would wait, I would worry, I would pray. It took me a long time to trust my birth control. In fact there were a couple of occasions when I was stressed, which delayed my period because stress does that, but it only serves to freak you out even more which, you guessed it, delays your period.

Oy vey.

(I have since reminded myself every month if I start to freak out thinking I won’t start my period and that I am in fact pregnant it’s probably a good sign of PMS and Aunt Flo is about to come to town. Cheers me right up.)


                    

A lot of people seem to be talking about birth control and women’s rights and trying to make it an issue (see the above picture). Some people think it’s sinful to use birth control and some people think birth control is the savior of womankind. I’m just going to share my experience. Just in case someone reads this who doesn’t know me and writes me off as someone who wants to have free sex without consequences, is unwomanly, or worst case scenario, Going Against God’s Plan. (I thought of something worse actually. What if I were a representative of Planned Parenthood? *cue screams and dramatic music*. j/k, j/k I’m totally not.)

I didn’t have sex until marriage, I waited, I played by the “rules” and was a “good girl”. For the record, it's true, abstinence is the most effective form of birth control. I didn't have any babies. But that doesn't help you much after you get married. So yes, for 25 years I was a virgin. And I’m glad, not because I think it means I’m better than someone who hasn't waited, not even because I think God likes me better for abstaining from sex. I’m glad because I love my husband and can’t imagine being intimate with anyone but him. I’m glad because I remained true to myself and my integrity for the choices I made concerning my life, which to me is a way of honoring God anyway, by being true to myself. If that’s not your choice that’s okay. If you’re uncomfortable with what I just said because you think it’s too conservative or not conservative enough, I applaud you. I only hope you will live your life with the same integrity and respect for yourself that I have. I’m not perfect but I own my choices (or as they say in Hindi films, I take my decisions).

If I waited until marriage to have sex why am I not excited to become a mom right away? I know plenty of other girls I went to school with who have kids already, some are already learning their ABCs. And it’s weird to think that someday my child could be entering school when the kids of my peers are graduating. But it’s okay. They have adorable kids, I will (maybe) have adorable kids*. They just won’t have playdates together. There are a lot of reasons why I’m not ready to be a mom, it’s a personal choice for each woman, each couple, each family. One day there may be a lot of reasons why I’m ready to have a baby. That day and this day are both good days.

Here’s the thing about birth control: I’m glad it’s available. I think that women who never want to use it are awesome. Some women want to be mothers more than anything and that is amazing and important. Some women never want to have kids and they are just as fully beautiful and womanly as every other woman. And some, like me, think that someday it would be wonderful to be a mom but not today. Not anytime soon. When I decide I’m ready to commit to that relationship I’ll do it. But not today. Not anytime soon.

As a friend once said, one can never over-think a life changing event such as having a child. Whatever your decision is take it, own it, and be thankful you live in a country that allows you to say yes, no, or…maybe.


*Of course if we decide to have kids they will be adorable. (Zach is quite the looker if I do say so myself.) The “maybe” here refers to our current indecision on the subject of parenthood.

Because Wikipedia is Written by Random People Whose Judgment Can’t Be Trusted

For the past month I’ve been studying for the big test I have to take next week(for extra teacher certification). Basically it’s reviewing everything you learned in grade school and how to teach it. Kind of like “Are you smarter than a 6th grader? Great! We’ll give you a classroom.”

So each of the major subjects are addressed in this textbook I’m renting. And it took me about 5 days to get through the Social Studies section, because it gives you a basic rundown of the history of the world, government, economics, and geography. Yeah.

But what struck me most as I was reading this chapter were the errors I was finding. This book, which is an official study reference written by two people (professors?) from the University of Houston had the following things to say. These are isolated incidences, so they will be typed verbatim but out of context. Since you already know the context is a chapter on Social Studies, it doesn’t matter. My thoughts will be written in underneath. (If it’s bold it’s a vocabulary word in the book.)

“In World War II, the Allies (France, the former USSR, Great Britain, and many others) fought against the Axis (Germany, Italy, Austria, and Japan)…”


As far as I can remember, Austria wasn’t officially a part of “The Axis”. Yes, it was invaded (“annexed”) by Germany and had a high concentration of Nazis stationed there, but if this is what you’re basing your point on you need to include Poland and France and a bunch of others so they don’t feel left out. And if I were Austrian, I’d be ticked off at this accusation, especially if I knew for a fact that my forefathers were singing “Edelweiss” with the Von Trapp family, and totally had nothing to do with being buddy buddy with Nazis. (I know that a lot of Austrians were pro-Nazi, but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t resistance, or that they didn’t have to kill a bunch of Austrian leaders to get in. And if that’s not an invasion then I don’t know what is.)


“Passover is a Jewish holiday commemorating the Exodus of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt. The Jews left so quickly after their release from pharaoh that they did not even wait for their bread to rise. In remembrance, Jewish people avoid eating grain products and leavened bread products during this time.”


“Damnit Samuel I said LEAVE the bread! We don’t have time! Just grab the goats and run! Quick, before they change their minds!”

“By the sixth grade, students should be able to locate the following countries on a map of the world: Canada, Mexico, France, Germany, Great Britain, Italy, Spain, Norway, Sweden, Russia, South Africa, Nigeria, Iraq, Iran, India, Pakistan, the Peoples’ Republic of China, The Republic of China (Taiwan), Japan, North Korea, South Korea, Indonesia, and Australia.”


Did anyone else catch that the only 2 African countries listed were South Africa (NOT hard to find at all) and Nigeria? Why Nigeria? Egypt isn’t even mentioned. No countries from South America are included. Russia is the top of Asia, Canada and Mexico are the top and bottom of North America respectively, Australia is both a continent and a country. Afghanistan isn’t on the list but Nigeria is included. Again, why? (Why shouldn’t all the countries be included? Too hard for kids or just sticking to the standards?)

Renewable resources are those that can be replaced in the foreseeable future. For example, forests can be replanted after trees are cut, and a water supply in a certain area is replenished by rain.


I had no idea that water is a renewable resource. I guess I should have figured it out on my own, seeing as how every time I flush the toilet it fills back up with clean water.

Am I being picky? Perhaps. I just think it’s interesting that with math and science, writing and reading, you stick with facts. There are rules, there are guidelines, there is research. Social Studies is completely dependent on who is doing the talking. Whether it’s history, the environment, culture, or what’s important to know, it all depends on your point of view. Your perspective of the world shapes not just your beliefs but also how you evaluate other people, situations, even facts.

                     

Maybe you think that none of the above mistakes are important. But if your country was invaded, would you want it listed with those who did the invading? I’m pretty sure the meaning of Passover is important to practicing Jews, all the countries in the world are important in determining the direction of our world, and people who’s lakes have dried up over the past few months care about water conservation. Not taking the time to fully understand something builds up over time. It starts when we’re children and a grown up tells us something or we read it in a book. Maybe we don't bother to know anything about another group because we were taught to disregard their strange ways, because they aren't relevant to our way of life, or they were
"evil". That belief becomes part of us until we become something…quite possibly something ugly. Something that represses and dismisses. Something that stifles and resists. Something that willfully misunderstands and hates.

         

                         

I'm not trying to target a specific group. I'm just using these as an example of seeds that were planted long ago. It doesn’t matter what religion, race, class, or party you belong to. This type of behavior is present in all of them and all of us if we let it. We may not think we're anything like the people who do those things but we could be under the right circumstances. Shouldn't we try to understand all sides? Don’t we, especially educators and textbook publishers, have a responsibility to teach kids to question, research, understand, and evaluate? Shouldn’t we be making decisions based on what is best for not only ourselves, but also those on the other side, even the ones we don’t understand? Even the ones we may hate? And not just for right now but for the long haul?

Everyone has an answer, but does anyone have the heart?

I honestly don’t think this will ever be solved. The only thoughts and actions I can control are my own. And they will not be governed by hate or fear, but by compassion and understanding. That is what I will strive to teach and to live out. Because maybe the next generation will have parents and teachers who teach that everyone, everywhere is important. Maybe families of different faiths will have each other over for dinner and become friends. Maybe we'll stop wasting everything we've been given and start giving this world our best effort. Maybe it will start at the grassroots level and spread until the whole world stops and breathes a sigh of relief.

In the meantime, I hope I pass my test.

3 Reasons Why Disney Princesses ARE Good Role Models

Don’t ask me where or when I read this, but there are a lot of angry parents out there. Angry mothers specifically. Mom’s who don’t want their daughters to grow up watching Disney movies because the Princesses are “weak characters who need a man to rescue them”. They deny their daughters princess costumes and avoid the color pink like most people (should) avoid crocs.

Now, to each her own, and you certainly don’t need a shiny princess dress to pretend you’re a princess, but I for one happen to love fairy tales both Disney and otherwise. So I thought about it and I’d like to point out that each of the Disney “Princesses” (let’s be honest, not all of them were royalty) has a specific issue they address and their stories can make a great jumping off point for meaningful conversations.

**Before proceeding you should also note that I do not believe in Disney sequels. I am a Disney Purist, which means these so called “sequels” do not exist anymore than Star Wars I-III exist. (Someday I am going to be a very selective mother.)


    

1. Let’s start from the oldest of the old school. Snow White, Cinderella, and Aurora. These ladies get a bad rap because they’re extremely old fashioned (meaning they clean house and wait for their men to come home rescue them.) Plus their singing voices leave something to be desired. However I’d like to point out that keeping a house clean is a full time job. Being kind to people who don’t deserve your sympathy is a full time effort. These ladies have good character, even in humble circumstances and stressful situations. More specifically: Sleeping Beauty respects her elders (the fairies make the film in my opinion), Cinderella shows kindness to even the smallest of creatures, and Snow White…

I know Snow White is usually everyone’s least favorite. But really she was kind of ahead of her time. Meaning she lived a very simple life, something people are only catching onto in recent years. She enjoys taking care of her small cottage, singing, and spending time with the people she loves. Snow White would totally be down with the tiny house movement and minimalism. Snow White = my hero.

                                        
                                                         You go girl.

2. Okay but what about more important issues? Disney Princesses fight for what they believe in, and each one, in a real life modern day setting would support a cause. Belle is a lot of people’s favorite and mine too for one very special reason: she loves to read. How awesome is that? Belle is like a Champion for Literacy. Raise your hand if you loved Belle and connected with her passion for books? The Beast gives her a library? Best. Gift. Ever.

                            

Jasmine and Rapunzel are all about independence. I think they would be best friends in real life. They would fight for women’s rights at home and abroad. Pretty cool ladies.

                           

Pocahontas: environmentalism. You can’t watch Pocahontas and not want to go running through the woods with the wind at your back. And I don’t even like running. You also don’t have to believe in tree spirits to see value in appreciating and caring for the environment.

      

Tiana is a woman who knows what she wants: to run her own small business. Women running the workplace, in leadership positions, CEOs, and young girls can take a lesson from Tiana.

3. There are a couple of forgotten characters that don’t get mentioned as often: Mulan and Esmeralda. Mulan is brave and creative when it comes to defending her country, proving that women too have a place on the battlefield.

             

Esmeralda is one of my personal favorites. Not only is she a sexy bombshell with a heart of gold but she stands up for oppressed minorities when no one else will. That takes guts. Once again, proving that women who care can make a difference.

                              

The only princess I’m having trouble finding a redeeming quality about is Ariel. Don’t get me wrong, The Little Mermaid was the first Disney movie I ever owned (poofy case, still have it). I love Ariel. But girlfriend has some problems. For one thing she’s really materialistic, she keeps collecting more and more stuff so she can feel human. Does that sound familiar America? Secondly, she falls for Prince Eric pretty hard and pretty fast. There’s really no reason except he’s a good looking homosapien, which is kind of her thing. Then she changes herself so she can be with him, a decision which forever separates her from her family. It’s kind of…needy. And ill advised. And it reminds me of someone…who, who does it remind me of? Oh yeah.

                                         

I know some people who have a problem with Ariel’s rebellious ways and the witchcraft in the movie, and if you want to have a conversation about that with your kiddoes, by all means. But I still love Ariel. I guess we need to include her to remind ourselves that love requires sacrifice and that material wealth can’t fill the need in your soul. She’s like a mirror we can look in from time to time when we need to. Are you acting like Ariel? Yes? Stop it and do the opposite. (Feel free to sing like Ariel all you want.)

                      

Keep in mind that the princesses were also products of their times. If nothing else Disney Princesses are a fascinating study of the cultural shift in female perspectives and expectations. And they sing amazing songs. How can you not love them?

So if you’ve read this entire entirely random post, bravo and thank you! May your day be magical and may all your dreams come true!

Shout out to Giselle, because Enchanted made me believe that Disney still had some magic left.

                                  

Twelve Things I’m looking forward to in ‘12

1. The following movies…

I get chills every time they start singing. I cannot wait!
 

 

This one looks comical and I’m not sure about it but I’m still seeing it anyway.

I’ll overlook Kristen Stewart's presence because this movie looks so intense and Charlize Theron looks like such a badass.

2. Books – Insurgent by Veronica Roth (sequel to Divergent). Hooray for dystopic young adult series with alliteration!

                                          


3. Downton Abbey Season 2, which starts on Sunday (I could not be more excited!) I only watched the first season 4 times.

4.. Getting a fantastic teaching job in the same town Zach works in. I really want to be back in the classroom.

5. Reading and going to workshops to improve myself professionally. Pinterest has really given me a lot of ideas!

6. Moving. Into a different house and hopefully closer to where we work. Because right now we’re about 30 minutes from everything. Lame.

7. Visiting my Louisiana family. It’s been too long since I’ve been back and I miss everyone. Hopefully Zach and I will both be able to get down there this summer.

8. Spending more time with friends and family. I tend to keep to myself for the first few months after moving to a new place, just to get my bearings. But I hope to get out more in the coming months and enjoy the relationships that are close by :)

9. Improving my blogging skills. I have a lot of plans and want to put a lot of work into it.

10. Finally having my hair the length I want. I’ve been growing it out for over a year and I’m almost there. I hope to get it cut soon and then I just know I’ll look exactly like this:

                                                      

Which will be super awesome.


11. Getting a bike…and a camera. Not sure which order this will happen in. But I’ve been wanting/needing both for a while. This is similar to the bike I want:



Which I know is totally hipster and not suitable for hardcore biking. I’ve always had this problem with the bikes with the gears and handbrakes. I don’t understand how to work the gears and every time I try to use the hand brakes I end up being thrown forward off the bike. So much easier just to pedal backwards like the good ole days. Plus it keeps the phrase “backpedaling” alive and relevant.

(Sidenote: Does anyone have an opinion about which camera is better, Canon vs. Nikon? Apparently in some circles it’s a very heated discussion. I’m not a professional, just a curious amateur.)


12. I’m excited to learn more and study new things. I’ve made a goal to read a book a week and actually keep track of what I read (I’ve been reading a LOT these past few months and recording none of it, terrible shame) and I’ve also got a gold key membership with Livemocha so I’m hoping to learn at least one language fluently this year.


Anyway, I make resolutions all the time, so I didn’t really want to make “New Year’s Resolutions”. And while some of these are goals that I can actually work toward I just wanted to write a post about things I’m looking forward to because 2011 was a very tough year. Zach and I agreed that 2011 was a year in which exactly only 6 things happened: he went on a road trip to Vegas, we got married, honeymoon in Chicago, he got to work for a Homebrew story, I got to be a nanny, and we learned to make Chicken Tikka Masala. Other than those things and the time we spent with friends and family, 2011 is a year we’d rather erase. So if future generations ever ask me what I did in 2011 I’ll say that was the year I got married and learned to make Chicken Tikka Masala.


Here’s to 2012!